Whenever I think of factors that have affected my development as a person, my "story", the first things that cross my mind are my three older brothers. Being affected by one's siblings is not a unique concept, but I believe that because I have three older brothers, not just one or two, the effect was multiplied.As long as I can remember, I've been surrounded by sports. This part of the stereotypical male culture is the most visible example of my brothers' impact on me. I have played soccer, football, basketball, and baseball competitively and have watched countless hours of sports on television. When I was y0ung I would play hours of sports with my brothers in the yard or the street or the driveway. These games created a love of competition in me, which still drives me today. Without this competitive fire, I don't think I would have had as much athletic, or even academic, success. For example, I retook the ACT because I wanted to have the highest score in the family.
Because there were four boys in the house, I grew up in a very masculine environment. Liking things that were not manly was not an option for me. That really narrowed my interests, which explains why my only hobbies now are sports and video games. Another effect of the masculine environment was the blanketing of emotions. Crying was forbidden. Any sign of sensitivity was greeted with ridicule. This caused me to become a fairly detached person. Without my older brothers, I may be a person of great emotional depth. It is impossible for me to know.
Our country has a highly developed social construction on what it means to be male. We are all affected by it, but it is much harder to deviate from it if you have several older males around to mock and harass you whenever you break the man code. Without this social construction, the whole dynamic of my family would have been much different. Also, if I had been female, it would have greatly altered the effect that my brothers have had on me. I would not have tried to fit in with them, but I would have had to struggle to keep my feminine identity. That is what I have seen in my younger sister Mary-Clare, and she has not always enjoyed it. Therefore, I can generalize that it is easier to have three older brothers if you are a male.
Through this analysis, I have come to realize that people's identities are shaped more by their surroundings than their own internal thoughts or feelings. Therefore, a person's personality may be more reflective of that person's friends and family rather than the actual person's mental makeup. So what I'm really trying to say is: If you dislike me, it's not my fault; it's my brothers'.
I really agree with you that family, and friends and your surroundings really make up who you are. Although at the same time, I think a huge part of it is gender differences, think your your sister....is she a girly girl or a tom boy? You were defined by your three brothers, you mostly follow the same path of how to act or even think. Do you think you would have been a lot more emotional and less likely to be a sports fanatic even if you lived with all girls? Or do you think that gender differences do make up a big deal of who we are now and you still possibly could be the way you are today?
ReplyDeleteMy sister is a tom boy, so I think the masculinity rubbed off on her quite a bit. I think if I had older sisters I would probably be more emotional, and maybe less into sports. I would still retain my masculine qualities but I don't think they would be as extreme as they are
ReplyDeleteI have two brothers and two sisters. The birth order is boy girl boy girl boy. My older brother was always distant and we never were particularly close. My older sister on the other hand has always been really close to me and we pretty much get along all the time. Disregarding my younger siblings for the moment, I do not believe my closeness with my older sister made me any more emotional or feminine. Maybe it was the illusion of how "bad-ass" my older brother was or the fact that my dad encouraged sports and hunting for us boys. Whatever it was I deny my emotions to the fullest because that's the manly thing to do and I enjoy manly experiences close to exclusively. I would say that in my experience there is no way to tell if my gender identity was shaped more by nature or nuture.
ReplyDeleteIm really diggin the post Stephen. My older brother definitely shaped me into a guy who loves to compete and wont tolerate hearing "you cant do this" or "you cant do that." Being younger, I have always competed with my brother to see who the top dog was on the field/court/etc. but I believe this also instilled a passion to compete in the classroom, helping me develop as a student as well. And thanks to my brother and I, my sister has turned out to be quite the tom boy as well, so its clear that the influence of older siblings greatly impacts the youngsters.
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