Boom! Boom! I hear as I am showering. Curious to what and where the sounds of gun shots were coming from, I quickly turn the shower off and again I hear another. Boom! This time it’s coming from outside my house. I quickly clothe myself, panicking and fearing for my safety. My heart races as I turn the doorknob. I make my way out of the shower room and towards the adjacent living room. I take a quick glimpse around the room; the clock finally strikes ten and the sun had fallen deep below the earth.
“GET DOWN!” The strangers command.
“I’m scared, please don’t kill me!” I reply back.
“SHUT UP! On the ground with your hands on your back, or I will shoot.” The strangers command.
“I’m down,” I say, falling down on the living room carpet, blocking my face.
As one of the stranger proceed to fasten my hands together, I close my eyes. In the dark, I could hear so much rackets; my own deep breathing, mix in with rapid heart beats, sounds of tables being flip, and walls rip apart.
After quickly tying my hands with handcuffs, I opened my eyes. I quickly realize that these people were not intruders, but trusted men and women of the S.W.A.T. Team and St. Paul Police. One by one, the intruders proceed to bring the family together in the living room. By this time, I have realize the reason why they are here and I have the excruciating feeling of guilt and shame. Tears rushing down my eyes, and the image of doors busted open with guns runs through my sacred thoughts. In these moment, I can only hear faint thunders and the lonely cries of my family members.
One of the officers tells me to get up and walk into the living room. As I walk through the debris, the officers standing around with their guns and extra handcuffs, their faces grew with angry glares and disgusted looks upon me as if I was a criminal. Shameful and Anger were the only terminology in my mind. Men and women running pass me, knocking me over to the left side of the wall. I again take a quick glimpse around the house and once I saw the dogs, four fir trimmed adult canines, I knew that the main purpose of raiding my home.
My six brothers, parents, and blind grandmother are already seated in the living room by the time I arrive inside the living room. I was order to sit in one of the corners, keeping a three feet distant between each of my siblings, especially my older brother Matt; soon realizing that Matt was the main cause to these many pains. As I sit down and wipe my tears with my shoe marked t-shirt, my sister and her boyfriend are also escorted into the living room, my sister's eye are filled with tear and her boyfriends' are the same. Finally at the end, we were together and guarded as untamed beasts.
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This happened to me on my 18th birthday in reality, and for a moment, it shook me into million of pieces. I often wondered at times whether or not I deserved this type of treatment. How is it that in a couple of years, I am here in Minnesota, attending the University of Minnesota learning about philosophy and law. Quite interesting to see the story from both side of the fence and in retrospect, I can easily understand how the SWAT team felt as they went into my family's home and shut down my entire house.
Most shockingly, it occurred to me years after this tragic event that no matter how "intelligent" I was, in comparison to my siblings who in others areas have faltered and fallen into the abyss of rejection and absolution, I was treated as a criminal just as they were. Didn't matter how great my school reports or my attendance sheet were, I was still pushed around like a puppy dog from one potential buyer to another. And it slammed to me that as the SWAT team entered my home, it wasn't just raiding potentially a drug bust, but a home of ASIAN AMERICAN druggies who were selling drugs. AND IN ALL TRUTH, no drugs were FOUND. Nothing was ever found. It's ridiculous to see and wonder why and how they had a warrant. NO DRUGS whatsoever but damage costing in THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of dollars. Now, life is much better but that night made me realize that racial biases and racial degradation are still active around life here. And no matter how much more assimilated an individual (particularly minorities) may be, or how great his grades may be, there are those who are constant reminders to you that you are somehow in lower value than "others."
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