I approached this article from the opposite direction: if some things weren't in my life, how would I be different? The answer is easy, I would have a ton of piercings, probably be a "hipster" speeding across Wash. Ave. bridge, tats, I would not be very social, and probably a little more towards the self-centered side. Thats when I realized that all of the factors which created my mini history came directly from my sisters. (Twin-middle, Oldest-Right, Me-Left)Sisters have taught me EVERYTHING about communication, sports, school, hard work, persistence, fighting, not fighting...the list could go to the moon and back. I was the odd one out growing up in our sisterhood. Twin and oldest ALWAYS did things together, which made me tough and independent. Toughness is a key word in our situation, when I'm dying at the end of a half-marathon, I think about how hard both of my sisters work at their colligate level volleyball AND school at the same time. It's almost turning into a competition because neither of us wants to be the "kid that just coasted through college without doing something extra challenging"; Makes for a good conversation when we all get home.
Communication, obviously doesn't come naturally between three girls living under the same roof for 18+ years, let alone when you're the exact same age as one of them...I am a strong communicator now because after all the time I've spent waiting for the twin to finally put enough make up on, or waiting for the oldest to finally finish her sentence, I realized that I have plenty of time to listen to my friends, wait for my turn to speak, understand that not everyone is just like me.
The take home point here, is that they "keep me in check", There isn't any BS in our relationships, I know that if I ever mess up, according to our family's standards, that I have two VERY "open" sisters who will swoop in and take me right back to reality and out of my own little 'weep-a-thon', or what ever the situation may be.
This is very inconclusive as to "who I am" But I can't agree that I have a history without looking at it in terms of a GRAND NARRATIVE. I've lived my life according to the Catholic Church (to the best of my abilities,right now); did the whole sunday school thing, confirmation, hopefully a wedding by a priest in a catholic church. That part of my life has been pre-determined, and honestly, I'm afraid to think of my life differently. It's almost fateful that we have to be born into families/cultures, because NOBODY has a completely independent life, although we'd like to think so. Another example- I grew up in a suburb in MN, graduated K-12, got my license, shop at target, love my family, will graduate from the UofM, and hopefully have a family one day for them to write their own histories. But, I can't help but to notice that this is just as much a grand narrative, in my eyes as living as a Catholic girl is. It's all a part of that american dream, manifest destiny narrative and I think that until something which really shakes things up happens, that I'm willing to keep trudging along this pre-determined path - I could almost write my WHOLE life history right now.. Grow up, Have a family, Get grandkids, die. Exciting.
I definitely agree with you about the huge role my sisters have played in my life. I am the middle of three girls, and being both an older sister and a younger sister has shaped my personality significantly.
ReplyDeleteI feel the exact same way as you, except for that I grew up with three older brothers. Comparing your experience with mine tells me just how different boys and girls are. You learned communication from having sisters and from my brothers I learned how to not have emotions. However, we both learned toughness, which I think is a common denominator of coming from a big family. I always felt like kids that had no siblings were spoiled and were sissies (no offense to any only children). Have you ever thought about how different you would be if you had brothers instead of sisters?
ReplyDelete