Who knew eye contact could be awkward? I definitely didn’t when I was young…until I hit high school and learned that almost any body practice could be considered ‘awkward.’ Of course we were all very self-conscious back then, but I think that that self-consciousness never really left. I tend to make eye contact with people when they speak to me or if I am speaking to them; it seems respectful and attentive. However, I find myself lowering my gaze if the person I am speaking with has too looked away. I am more inclined to greet someone I know on the street if I see them looking at me. It’s as if we need confirmation that the relationship is indeed mutual, that the idea of it being one-sided enthusiasm is unbearably…awkward. So why was looking back at someone not awkward when I was little? Maybe because I was less aware of gender differences, less aware of socially acceptable behavior, less aware of my image. This idea of ‘awkward’ or self-conscious body practice developed later in my life, as it does with many others as well.
This body practice relates to Bordo's idea of a physically dominated society. It's a survival mechanism to make quick judgement. In modern society, this skill has become archaic, but we are still stuck with its residual effects. We see someone on the street, we instantly gauge their physical appearance, their sex, their ethnicity. This is where the conflict between nature and nurture comes in. Culturally it is unacceptable to judge others so easily but unfortunately it is only natural that we do so. Hence, there is a sense of awkwardness when you make eye contact with the person you just walked by. We train ourselves to fight such archaic behaviors, train our 'intelligible bodies' to do what is socially correct.
This is really interesting. I've never really thought about how the one-sidedness of eye contact is what really makes it awkward, but it's true! That's why everyone seems to look at the ground, or slightly below eye-level as they are walking. Another awkward part about eye contact is when it is never ending. It almost becomes a staring contest during the conversation!
ReplyDeleteVery true - when we were babies when using our diapers as a bathroom, or when we drooled over ourself it wasn't awkward. Not only would it be gross now to do any of that as adults, but it would probably make everyone else around us feel awkward - or like they were intruding... When did this rule get established? (Not that I want to drool everywhere) but it's a prime example of how society and cultures shape us into one rule dominated society.
ReplyDeleteI also found this post very interesting. I bet I found it this way because I always find myself thinking, "Wow that was awkward." What I find funny I feel so awkward for probably five minutes and then by the end of the day I have completely forgotten about it and it never enters my mind again. My dad has always said, "No one cares as much as you do." I wish I would've known that a lot earlier because I used to get so embarrassed when I made awkward eye contact with someone or I waved Hi to an individual and they didn't see it. I always seem to wonder why there is a natural way to do something because every person is different and has their own way of going about daily life. When I wave to a friend and they don't wave back that doesn't immediately mean they don't like me. Maybe they are texting, daydreaming, or need to be somewhere quickly and do not have time to stop and chat. I now believe it's only as awkward as you make it and in reality the person who missed the wave or meets your eye contact feels just as awkward as you.
ReplyDeleteI found this to be very true as well. Being from a different culture, the level of eye contact one gives to another person is slightly different. So when I came to America I didn't actually understand that cultural difference. I feel this 'awkwardness" every time I walk pass people and sometimes when I talk to people. Apart from that, the distance I put between myself and people I talk to here, also tends to be a little different.It could be just me but it very often makes me all too aware that I'm a little different.
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