Have you ever thought about where you sit at the dinner table and why?
Alone at our table in my apartment, I have the choice to sit anywhere, yet I noticed that I am seated on the side of the table. Though it may seem at first an insignificant observation, after some thought, I cannot remember the last time that I sat at the head of the table. Even the chairs at our oval table (which is inhabited regularly by three females) are arranged in such a manner that no chair is at the head. This exemplifies the fact that we are docile bodies that have practiced and learned our place at the table. It is something that has never really crossed my mind before, which is what makes it so powerful. Even though I am no longer living at home, and do not share a meal regularly with my family, the body practice of sitting on the side of the table is still ever present in my everyday life.
I can see the images clearly in my mind of the many dinners with my family while living at home. We had an unspoken seating arrangement, my father at the head of the table, my mother on his right and my sisters and me filling in the rest of the seats. My father sits at the head of the table, because that is what his father did, and what his father’s father did. But more importantly it is symbol of the authority he has in the household, and the rest of the family’s recognition and respect for that. My now subconscious seat at the side of the table, though a seemly trivial act, actually signifies a social position that has been embedded in me. I never felt oppressed, controlled or a less-than-being in my family at all, but our seats at the dinner table do make an argument about our family dynamic. At the very least, our family is merely mimicking the structure that our culture has produced. The images above exemplify the body practice of the ‘alpha’ male at the head of the table.
So the next time you sit down at a table, I challenge you to then notice where you sit, and give it some thought. You might be surprised where you sit and whether you really chose to sit there or not.
I totally know what you mean! Family dinners used to be a huge thing at my house. The seating arrangement at my house was similar in that my dad sat at the head, but my mom sat at the opposite side of the table from him while the older kids got the good seats to the right of my dad where you could lean up against the windowsil and the younger kids got stuck on the left on a bench with no back support.
ReplyDelete